so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
