Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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