Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
