I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize