Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
