I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
