I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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