im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
