you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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