you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
