So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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