u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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