you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
