nutella sex= disaster
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
