Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
