yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
