Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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