im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
