If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
