if i can run in heels then i can drive
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
