Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
