Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
