My friends, they love my intelligence
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
