I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
