Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
