operation harelip BJ is a go
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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