He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
