Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
