I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
