There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My dick has a subreddit
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
