The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
