i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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