You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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