Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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