Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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