I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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