I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
