Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
