woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
