i just had sex bonerless
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
