If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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