That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
