I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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