I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
