I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
