Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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