operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
