So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
