Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
