Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
