My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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