I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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