do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
