Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
