Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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