well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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