So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
