i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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